Publication: The East Hampton
Press & The Southampton Press
Nov
8, 2011
Moving Memoir Is A Journey Of Self Discovery
UPDATED Mar 30, 2012
By Dawn Watson
Wafa Faith Hallam’s book, “The
Road from Morocco,” started out as a tribute to her mother but ended up being a
vehicle for self discovery.
Ms. Hallam, who now lives in Sag Harbor, began writing the book, a
memoir dedicated to her mother, Saadia Zniber, in April 2007 after watching the
Pedro Almodóvar film “Volver.” The beauty of Penelope Cruz, who starred in the
film, was uncannily similar to Ms. Hallam’s mother’s likeness in her youth, the
author wrote in the prologue to the book. That and the relationship between
mother and daughter on film got Ms. Hallam to thinking about her own sometimes
tempestuous relationship with her own mother.
“... It was the intricate relationships between its superbly
talented female characters that most affected me,” Ms. Hallam wrote. “Out of
nowhere, the urge to tell my mother’s story overcame me.”
At 13, Ms. Zniber, an Arab girl, was forced to enter an arranged marriage
with a much older devout Muslim man. He was called “Bahssidi,” which means
grandpa in Moroccan Arabic, by his close family. And by Ms. Hallam’s accounts,
the “grumpy” older brother to the virgin bride’s crush, the more
age-appropriate Hassan. The marriage, which resulted in the birth of Ms. Hallam
and her siblings, was not a happy union; it was marked by cultural and
generational differences which were never overcome.
But Ms. Zniber was a spirited
girl, and, even though she was quite young, she quickly sought independence for
herself and her children—boldly moving away from her husband and opening up a
beauty shop while embracing the French attitude and lifestyle of the larger
cities in Morocco, and later owning a successful catering business. She eventually
divorced her husband. Later in life, she became physically and mentally
ill—despondent and dependent on Ms. Hallam and her siblings.
But Ms. Hallam had inherited her mother’s spunk. Once she was old
enough, she travelled extensively in Europe before eventually settling in
America, earning a master’s degree in International Relations and Middle
Eastern Studies and securing a high-powered position on Wall Street. The road
was sometimes bumpy, though. Ms. Hallam felt the need to hide her true identity
adopting an Americanized name and keeping her ethnic origin mostly to herself.
In telling the story of her mother’s life, the author quickly
realized that her own experiences would become integral to the book.
“Her story could not be told without mine,” Ms. Hallam wrote of
the woman who gave birth to her when she was just a teenager.
And thus, the project that started out as a tribute to a strong
woman began to take a different shape, and became a multi-generational story.
The writing of the book eventually took Ms. Hallam on a much further emotional
journey than her physical move from Morocco to America had.
“The veil over my eyes was soon to be lifted, for on my horizon
was the dawn of my awakening,” she wrote. “As the light of the day follows the
darkness of night, it arrived without warning or fanfare, in the form of a
mundane telephone call that tore up the quiet of my home and threw me into the
radiance of being, transforming my life forever.”
After a quick start—writing 10 chapters in approximately 150 days
without the help of her mother’s tape-recorded memories, but with the support
of her sister, Nezha, and daughter, Sophia, among many others—Ms. Hallam had
put down her writing. It wasn’t until after she accepted her mother’s death
that she began to write again in earnest, finishing the memoir in June 2010. At
that time, Ms. Hallam had quit Wall Street and was in personal, emotional and
financial turmoil.
The stress of taking care of her mother, and the meltdown of the
financial markets, took its toll on Ms. Hallam, which she describes in
sometimes excruciating detail.
The book, Ms. Hallam wrote, came to “signify my very belated
separation from my mother, and the rebuilding of my shattered self, a rebirth
of sorts.”
Sitting in her inviting living room in Sag Harbor, with soft music
playing and candles lit, during an interview two weeks ago, Ms. Hallam talked
about her love of writing; the emotional and spiritual journey that she began
with the telling of her mother’s, and her own stories; and where her mental
travels have taken her. Writing and publishing the book herself was just the
beginning, she said, putting her “naked” self on the page for all to see was
another obstacle.
“The first few months my skin was crawling when people would say
they had read it,” Ms. Hallam said. “I had poured my heart out, stripped myself
naked ... But the response from people was so amazing, again and again. The
only way to really own and accept yourself to the fullest possible degree is
when you have nothing to hide and you’re completely okay with it.”
The author, who cites Eckhart
Tolle’s “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose” as a source of recent
inspiration, meditates every day and is practicing what she calls “living in
the present” to stay grounded.
“I learned that the best way to achieve success is by not pursuing
financial success, but rather the success of having friendship and a full
life,” the former Wall Street advisor said. “It’s about staying grounded,
living in the moment and harvesting the power of your own thoughts and mind.”
The author, who says that everyone should explore the journey of
self discovery of writing is now working on a second book. This time the
subject matter is clear, right from the beginning, she said.
“Understand that our struggles make us stronger,” she said.
“Understand what matters to you and be true to who you are. It’s about lasting
fulfillment.”
Wafa Faith Hallam will visit
the East Hampton Library on Saturday, November 12, at 1 p.m. to read select
passages from her book “The Road from Morocco.” Registration is required. For
more information, call 324-0222 easthamptonlibrary.org.
DAWN WATSON
An award-winning journalist and photographer, Dawn Watson contributes to a number of East End, national and international publications on the arts, culture, lifestyle and real estate. She's also the author of the popular blog www.hamptonspartygirl.com. Additionally, Dawn sits on the board of the Southampton Cultural Center and serves as a committee member the East Hampton Library’s Author’s Night event.
http://www.27east.com/news/article.cfm/Sag-Harbor/404973/Moving-Memoir-Is-A-Journey-Of-Self-Discovery