The Art of Relationships – Abraham-Hicks

This is a complete transcript of  

Getting into the Vortex

by Esther and Jerry Hicks

(The Teachings of Abraham®)

Meditation 

Relationships

= 1 =

It is nice to have this opportunity

to visit about relationships.

There is no subject of greater significance

to you than relationships,

for without others,

you could not be you.

Your relationships with the others with whom you share

your planet are valuable to you in several ways. It is obvious to

most that your diversity of talents and interests creates an overall

environment of balance. But you are helpful to one another

in other significant ways as well.

Every person with whom you interact is a part of the person

you are becoming. Not a single interaction with a single

person is left out of the process of your becoming.

Your interaction with others helps you to define your

own personal preferences, and even if you are not speaking

those preferences out loud, you are projecting them Vibrationally,

and they become the foundation of your very expansion.

Many people assume that only pleasing relationships have

value, but that is not the case. Your awareness of an unwanted

situation evokes from you a clear Vibrational request for

something different. And so, even those uncomfortable interactions

with others form the Vibrational basis of your expansion.

People often believe that the value of interacting with

others is mostly about combining talents and actions in order

to accomplish the things that need to be done in a society, but

your interaction with one another is much more important than

that. You are helping one another define the attributes of your

individual and collective expansion. In other words, even the

briefest of encounters with another person is actually contributing

to your expansion as an Eternal Being.

It is our desire to help you return to your natural appreciation

of the others with whom you are sharing your planet so that you

can fully enjoy every encounter with others, no matter how brief,

or regardless of whether you agree with them or not.

= 2 =

The others with whom you share your planet

are of tremendous value to you

even when you want different things;

and your Earth environment

is large enough to accommodate

all of the variety of interests,

beliefs, and desires.

The more choices that are available to you, the richer

your life becomes. In other words, a food buffet with a vast variety

of choices holds a greater potential of satisfying you than

a limited buffet. Every aspect of your life is enriched when there

is variety from which to choose—and your variety of choices

has never been greater.

We are not only speaking about the variety of choices

that you have regarding life styles, but also choices regarding

behaviors, emotional responses, personality characteristics, attitudes,

moods, reactions to situations.... You are surrounded by

varieties and options from which you are creating the expanded

version of you.

There are many situations, attitudes, life styles, even food 

choices that you do not want to participate with. Through

the living of your life, you have identified many wanted and

unwanted aspects, and it is important to remember than none

of those unwanted things can jump into your experience, because

there is no assertion in your attraction-based Universe.

The choices that others make cannot negatively impact

your experience unless you include them in your experience

through your attention to them. Things come to you only

through your Vibrational invitation—and they remain only by

your continuing attention to them.

Your Universe is based upon freedom. Freedom for everyone 

to choose what they give their attention to, and therefore

what they choose to experience. And your interaction with

one another provides a contrasting basis that assures continual

expansion.

When another achieves Vibrational alignment with something 

they desire, they in no way deprive you of your desires.

If your time-space reality has inspired a desire within you, it is 
certain that your desire can be fulfilled, for your Earth environment 
has the potential of satisfying the essence of all desires.

= 3 =

Your differences are of great advantage

in the stimulation of new ideas,

and are important to your expansion.

You came here eagerly

anticipating the expansion

that would be born

from your interaction

with others.

It is easy to understand the concept of the more variety

there is to choose from, the more choices you would have, but

there is an even larger benefit that is born from the contrasting

differences that surround you: as the details of unwanted things

come into focus for you in your physical dimension, equivalent

wanted things come into focus in the Non-physical dimension.

Whenever you know emphatically that you do not want something, 

you project a frequency that holds precise information about what 

you do want into your Vortex of Creation. And your Inner Being, 

the Source within you, holds steady to that new-and-improved Vibration...

As a problem is taking shape in your awareness, an equivalent 

solution is taking shape at the same time; and as questions occur, 

the equivalent answers are born.

From your Non-physical vantage point, before your birth

into this physical body, you understood this wonderful process

of Eternal expansion, and you came into your physical body

with tremendous eagerness. You saw the variety of your

planet—and especially the contrasting points of view of the

human population—as the perfect basis not only for expansion,

but for joyous expansion. You knew that every problem would

bring a solution and that every question would bring an answer,

and you were thrilled about your part in the creation of those solutions

and answers.

Before your birth, you understood the value of contrast,

and you believed in your ability to focus in the direction of solutions;

but, most important, you felt no aversion to problems because 

you knew that they are all part of the process of Eternal expansion. 

You relished the idea of joyful exploration; personal choosing, 

and deliberate focus. Co-creating at it’s best!

= 4 =

When you understand the value

of differing opinions,

you will reap immediate value

from every relationship;

and since you cannot make others change

to please you,

appreciating them where they are

will give you ease.

The more perspectives that enter the mix, the greater potential

for wonderful creations. Even when you feel strong opposition

to the opinions or perspectives of others, your interaction with 

them provides the basis for expansion and solutions and 

answers that you would not have access to without their 

seemingly problematic positions.

We encourage you to make peace with everyone who opposes

you and with everyone whom you oppose, not only because you

cannot insist on their yielding to your perspective but because 

their opposing perspective is of tremendous benefit to you.

You see, because of your exposure to what you perceive as their 

wrong or bad or unwanted behavior or perspective—you have given 

birth to an improved situation. And just as they helped the problem 

side of the equation to come into focus they helped the solution 

side of the equation to come into focus, also, and that solution 

waits for you in your Vortex of Creation.

Through this Daily Meditation Process, you will come

into alignment with those solutions and creations that are in

your Vortex, and from inside your Vortex, you will feel appreciation

for everyone who contributed to its becoming. Deciding

in advance to appreciate them—even before you are in your

Vortex and even before the solutions have shown themselves to

you—will shorten the process and bring you faster to the solutions

you seek. And, even more important, your life will feel good to you 

every step along the way.

When you make peace with those who differ in desire

and belief and behavior from your ideas of what is appropriate,

you do not perpetuate what you consider to be wrong. Instead,

you align with the solution side of the equation that has been

waiting for you in your Vortex of Creation.

= 5 =

Sometimes it seems like others

have the power

to negatively affect your experience,

but that is never true:

only your response to them

has the power to pinch you off

from the naturally good-feeling person

you are…

It always feels good to notice the positive aspects of another,

because in doing so, you remain in complete alignment

with the broader perspective of the Source within you. And

since the positive behavior of others does feel good, it is logical

that you would enjoy giving your attention to that.

But if you become reliant on the behavior of others to

keep you feeling good, then when you observe unwanted behavior,

it is logical that you would not feel good. And the worst part of that 

is, you then believe that your feeling good is dependent upon their 

behavior, over which you have no control.

And so, a belief that the behavior of others must be controlled—

so that your observation of that good behavior will make you

feel good—leaves you feeling vulnerable to their behavior.

We would like to help you to understand that neither the

good feeling you find when you observe wanted behavior, nor

the bad feeling you find when you observe unwanted behavior,

is actually the reason that you feel good or bad. The way you

feel is only ever about your alignment, or misalignment, with

the Source within you. It is only your relationship with the

Source within you (with your own Inner Being) that is the reason

for the emotions that you feel.

While it is nice to find things in your physical environment

that enhance your good-feeling alignment with your Inner

Being, your understanding of why you feel good will make it

possible for you to feel good regardless of the behavior of others.

Understanding that the way you feel is really about your

Vibrational relationship with your Inner Being—with the Source

within you; with the expanded version of you who resides inside your

Vortex—gives you complete empowerment and absolute freedom.

= 6 =

Sometimes others believe

that their happiness depends

upon your response to them,

but that is never true;

and if you encourage them to believe that—

and stand on your head to please them—

you don’t help them,

or you.

When others are pleased by your behavior it often feels

very good to you. It’s always nice to see others when they are

feeling good, and it feels good to know that you had something

to do with their feeling good. But if any other comes to rely on

your behavior for their good feeling—then both you and they

are at a great disadvantage.

If you make your relationship with your Inner Being your

top priority, and you deliberately choose thoughts that allow

your alignment, you will consistently offer the greatest advantage

to the others with whom you interact. Only when you are

aligned with your Source do you have anything to offer another.

If your behavior is influenced by your desire to keep another

person happy, you will lose your Connection to your

Source. And it is not possible for you to be happy unless you are

in alignment with your Source. Without that alignment, you

have nothing to offer another.

Our daily meditation process will help you to consistently

release resistance and to come into alignment with the power

and clarity and love that is really who-you-are—and then anyone

who you hold as your object of attention will benefit.

Others will notice the consistent happiness that you are

experiencing, and they can benefit from the power of your example.

As you let them know that your happiness is dependent only upon

your own ability to focus yourself into alignment with who-you-really-are, 

you can assist them in discovering the same freedom for themselves.

Rather than attempting the impossible task of trying to behave in 

ways that please others, show them the ease of finding your 

consistent alignment... You will always find happiness inside your 

Vortex. And the happiness that they are seeking is inside their Vortex.

 = 7 =

When you expect another to succeed

without the benefit of your help—

you see them as their Source sees them.

When you believe another needs your help,

and you attempt to shore up their weakness

with your strength—

you help them not.

When you are in your Vortex and in alignment with your

Broader Perspective, and are focused upon other humans, your

attention to them is helpful. Whenever you are aligned with the

powerful Energy of your Source, anything you focus upon receives

the benefit of your gaze.

When you are in your Vortex, and in alignment with your

Inner Being, you are then tuned to seeing only success in the

other humans you are observing. Whenever you are aware of

the problems of others, it always means that you are not in your

Vortex and you are not in alignment with the way the Source

within you is viewing them.

When you are feeling the discomfort from seeing other people in 

lackful or needy situations, and you decide to help them from your 

place of discomfort, no lasting value ever occurs, for two important 

reasons: first, you are not in alignment with the Energy of your 

Source and so you have no real value to give, and second, your 

attention to their need only amplifies their need.

Of course it is a wonderful thing to help others, but you

must do it from your position of strength and alignment, which

means you must be in alignment with their success as you offer

assistance, and not in alignment with their problem.

It is easy to know if your offer is coming from a place of

alignment or resistance, because you can always tell by the way

you are feeling. When your awareness of their situation makes

you uncomfortable and you offer help to make them feel better

and to make yourself feel better, you are not in the Vortex and

you are not helping. 

When you feel an inspired eagerness to offer something because 

you want to participate in their happy successful process, 

your attention to their success harmonizes with the point of 

view of your Source; and the infinite resources of the Universe 

are at your disposal. And that does help.

= 8 =

When you look for another’s strengths,

even when they are hard to find,

your attention to them amplifies them;

and, in time,

because of the spotlight you have shined,

those strengths will become apparent

to others as well.

Sometimes others are so focused on the unpleasant details

of their current situation that they are unable to catch even

a glimpse of hope for things to turn around. Because they are

so embroiled in the reality they are living, they continue to perpetuate

Vibrations that match what they don’t want—and so they continue 

to attract more of what they don’t want.

But when you have been practicing your Vibration of

alignment, and you are consistently inside your Vortex, you are

able to see them as the successful person that they truly are

rather than the person who is temporarily pinching off their success.

They are often so far Vibrationally removed from the success

that awaits them inside their Vortex that they are unable to

find their way in; but because you are already inside the Vortex,

and you are holding them as your object of attention from inside

the Vortex, they are able to see you, and feel you.

That is what the power of uplifting influence really is:

because you are able to recognize their true power and therefore

shine a spotlight upon it, sometimes they are then able to catch

a glimpse of it themselves.

Your negative attention to anything perpetuates more

negative attention. Your positive attention to anything perpetuates

more positive. However, your positive attention is much more

influential than your negative attention, because when you

align with your Source inside your Vortex—you access the

power that creates worlds. 

Our daily meditation process will help you to find and maintain 

your alignment with the Energy that creates worlds, so that 

you can then offer your true power of upliftment as you shine 

the spotlight of your gaze upon others. Literally everyone you think 

about from inside the Vortex benefits.

= 9 =

When others lash out at you in anger,

with words or action,

their battle is not with you

but with themselves; and if you do not

take their behavior personally—

understanding it is their personal battle—

in time they’ll leave you out of it.

It always feels good to observe another person who is feeling good; 

and when their happiness is associated with your behavior it can 

feel especially good to you.

You are an uplifter, and it feels good to be a part of uplifting

another. But if you encourage others to believe that their

happiness is dependent upon your behavior, you are doing a

very big disservice to them and to yourself. You will eventually

grow weary of attempting the impossible task of keeping others

happy. For as their demands on you increase, you will lose your

important sense of being free. And often, since you are the one

present in their life trying to help, when they don’t feel better,

they blame you.

Everyone holds a mix of opinions, beliefs and expectations on a 

myriad of subjects. When you give your attention to something,

that Vibration becomes activated and comes to the forefront, so to 

speak; and the more often you focus upon it, and cause it to come 

to the forefront, the more dominant it becomes.

You have the option of making a good-feeling aspect of another

person dominant in your Vibration or of making a bad feeling

aspect dominant in your Vibration, and whatever aspect you regularly 

choose will become the Vibrational basis of your relationship.

When your happiness becomes your highest priority, and

so you deliberately keep active the best-feeling aspects of others,

you will train your Vibrational frequency in such a way that

they will not be able to rendez-vous with you in any way that

does not feel good when it happens.

The only way for anyone to be consistently happy is to

understand that the feeling of happiness is simply about alignment

with the Source who is within them. When you are in your

Vortex of Creation, you are lined up with all-that-you-have become

and with everything that you have asked for. There simply

is no substitute for that alignment.

= 10 =

Sometimes you think it is important

what others think of you,

and so you work

to extract approval from them.

However, there really is little

that you can do to keep their approval coming—

for it is never about you,

but about them.

When you are children, the adults around you want you

to modify your behavior in ways that please them, which sometimes

doesn’t seem like such a bad idea from their perspective,

but ultimately has far reaching detrimental outcomes for both

the child and the adult.

It doesn’t work out for the one who is attempting to do the pleasing, 

because there are too many people who want different things from you, 

and keeping up with the ever-changing ideas of what another believes
is appropriate behavior is no small task. And it also doesn’t work out 

for the one who wants to be pleased, because if you are able to get some 

others to modify their behavior to please you, then you are continuously

needing control of others, or cooperation from others, to be pleased. 

An impossible and futile endeavor.

If you have developed the pattern of working hard to keep those

around you happy, then when they aren’t happy; when they are 

presenting their anger to you, you may feel that their anger has 

something to do with your behavior. They often work hard to make 

you believe that you are the primary reason for their problem, but you 

have undoubtedly discovered that the more you attempt to modify 

your behavior to keep another happy, the more modification of your 

behavior they seem to require. Again, an impossible and futile endeavor.

When you demonstrate your consistent state of happiness that you are 

achieving by being aware of your Vortex and holding thoughts that 

allow your frequent entrance into it (and, even more important, you do 

not modify your behavior to try to soothe or solve the problems of others) 

you will offer them—through the power of your example—the secret to 

their own true happiness. 

Being happy is a very personal thing—and it really has nothing 

to do with anyone else.

= 11 =

If you will release all concern

about how others feel about you,

and focus only upon how you feel about them,

you will unearth your core understanding

of who-you-really-are,

and you will discover

what true freedom really is.

The current opinion that another holds regarding you has far more to 

do with how they are feeling (whether they are in alignment with their 

own Source, and whether they are in or out of their Vortex at the time) 

than it has to do with you or your behavior.

There is perhaps no greater waste of time and effort than that of 

trying to influence the way other people see you, because what they 

see has very little to do with their object of attention and everything to do 

with the vantage point from which they are looking. How others feel 

about you is really about their relationship with their own Vortex.

Since their good feeling is about their relationship with their Inner 

Being, or with them being inside their Vortex, then your best 

plan of helping them to feel better is always to encourage or influence 

them into their Vortex. But you can only effectively do that when 

you are inside your own Vortex and in alignment with your own 

Inner Being.

So if you are observing someone who is unhappy (for any reason), 

your very observation of their unhappiness prevents you from being 

in your Vortex—and so it is not possible for you to help them. 

But if, instead, your priority is being inside your own Vortex,

and you do not allow yourself to focus upon their problem or their 

unhappiness, and you remain inside your Vortex... now, as you 

hold them as your object of attention from inside your Vortex, you 

may influence them to enter their Vortex, and therefore feel better.

True freedom is found in the absence of resistance. It is about being 

able to feel good and to be inside your Vortex regardless of the 

situations or conditions that surround you. True freedom is the discovery 

of maintaining unconditional love—of being able to maintain your 

“in the Vortex” position regardless of conditions.

= 12 =

At your core, you are more alike than different,

for you share a common thread

of Source and love and expansion.

And so, if you feel threatened by another,

that threat is not real,

for only you can stop

the flow of your natural Well-Being.

None of you take it well when you are out of alignment with your 

Source. The feeling of emptiness that you experience when you are 

disallowing your connection to your power and Energy and clarity is

extremely unpleasant. And often—when you or others are in that

state of resistance—you display your disconnection by taking it 

out on others.

When you see anyone trying to control others, you are witnessing 

someone who is outside of their Vortex and pinching off their own 

resources of Well-Being. They are futilely attempting to compensate 

for their self-imposed denial of resources by bullying someone else.

If you allow the threatening or unpleasant behavior of another 

to make you feel bad, you have simply joined the chain-of-pain outside 

of your Vortex. We want you to understand that they hold no 

power over you.

Everyone wants to feel good, to be of value, to be engaged with life, 

to feel progress, to learn new things, and to feel love. But many 

people are looking for love in all the wrong places. When you

witness unpleasant behavior in another, it is not so different from 

seeing someone with a pillow being pressed to their face depriving 

them of the air they need to breathe. The unpleasant behavior is 

equivalent to them flailing about, desperate for life-giving air.

So just remember, when anyone is behaving aggressively

or rudely toward you, they are simply desperate for the alignment

of their Vortex. It really isn’t about you. It is not their threat or their 

seeming power or strength or position that is jeopardizing your life 

or your happiness. It is only your attention to something that prevents 

your Vibrational alignment with Source that can diminish your 

Well-Being—and you have complete control over that.

= 13 =

As you insist on looking

for positive aspects in others,

in time, only positive aspects

can be shown to you,

for you will have incrementally adjusted

your Vibrational point of attraction;

and, by Law, that must be so.

Every thought that you have ever focused upon has the potential of 

being activated again; however your brain is not storing all of those 

thoughts and then projecting them to you randomly. You are activating 

them because of whatever you are focused upon.

As you deliberately look for positive aspects in others who surround 

you, you will train your Vibrational propensity into increasingly 

improved Vibrations. So it doesn’t matter how many negative thoughts 

you have thought before, or how long you have been negatively focused. 

You can deliberately focus—right now—on an improved thought.

Because the Law of Attraction is responding to your current

thought, more thoughts like that current thought are most

likely to come into focus for you. In other words, Law of Attraction

(that which is like unto itself is drawn) will continue to dish up for 

you more and more thoughts that match your current Vibrational 

frequency.

The more you deliberately choose better-feeling thoughts, 

the more easy and ready access you will have to those thoughts. 

But there is another fast and effective way to raise your Vibration 

and to put yourself in the position of having access to much better 

feeling thoughts: By focusing upon your breathing, you will 

deactivate resistant thought. In doing so, your Vibration immediately 

rises until it finds resonance and alignment with the Vibration 

of your Source, inside your Vortex.

We teach meditation because it is actually easier, in some

situations, to help you find “no thought” than to find a positive

thought... 

There is no better path to wonderful, meaningful, good-feeling 

relationships than the combination of a daily meditation—allowing 

your Vibration to find it’s natural balance—and the deliberate 

focusing upon Positive Aspects.

= 14 =

It is certain that you can find

the relationships that you desire,

but first there is something

very important that you must do:

you must become a Vibrational match

to the qualities that you seek,

because what comes to you

always matches you.

Often people believe finding a mate who loves them will

be the answer to everything missing in their life experience.

They want to find that one person who will, in essence, complete

them. And almost without exception, they want that person,

right here, right now!

But because we understand the Law of Attraction as we do, we 

encourage them to ease up a bit on the “right here, right now” part, 

for this very important reason: If you insist on choosing a mate 

right now, that mate will be a Vibrational match to how you feel 

right now. The person who comes right now will be a match to 

the person you are right now.

When you are feeling misunderstood or lonely, or unloved,

you cannot find a mate who will offer anything different to you. 

If you have predominantly been noticing the absence of a 

wonderful relationship, the presence of a wonderful relationship

cannot occur. Not right now.

If you are seeking a joyful relationship, you must become joyful first. 

Asking for a relationship to make you joyful is a backwards approach.

If you are seeking a satisfying relationship, you must become

satisfied first. 

If you are seeking a relationship full of fun and great timing and 

excitement, you must become full of fun and great timing and 

excitement, first.

How you feel equals who you are. And who-you-are equals

everything that comes to you. The powerful Law of Attraction

insists on that.

The most accurate way to assess your chronic Vibrational

offering is to pay attention to the relationships you now have. 

The people who are drawn to you are a perfect reflection of your 

chronic thoughts, how you are feeling, and of your point of attraction. 

And you have complete control about that.

= 15 =

Focus on the best you can in others:

and when characteristics you want are missing,

practice seeing them anyway—

for when you practice the thoughts

of the things that you desire,

they must show up in your experience.

It is Law.

Every person with whom you interact holds a wide variety

of Vibrational potential for you to choose from. And in the

same way that you deliberately select the things you want to

experience for lunch as you choose from the food buffet, you

can choose the characteristics of the people you are interacting

with as well.

Even if the majority of what others are living and feeling and 

being is not pleasing to you, still you have the ability to look for 

and find characteristics that do please you. And when you make 

that your common practice, you will attract increasingly better 

experiences to yourself from each of them.

Remember that whenever a problematic aspect of another

person is coming into your focus, an equivalent solution

is coming into focus, as well. And even though that person may

be very far away from manifesting or experiencing the solution,

it is still there. It is still within reach; and with practice, you will

be able to see it. 

If you are determined to feel good and are therefore equally 

determined to stay in your own Vortex, not only will you be able 

to see more and more positive aspects in others, but, in time, 

you will inspire them to begin seeing them in themselves, as well.

When you magnify a Vibrational aspect of anything by giving 

your attention to it, your spotlight makes it easier for others 

to see it as well.

Your attention to the positive aspects in others feels good to you 

because it causes you to find alignment with your Inner Being, 

but it also causes you to find alignment with their Inner Being—with 

who they really are.

By tuning to the frequency of your Source through this daily meditation, 

you will have access only to the best of everyone you meet. 

There is no greater gift that you can give to anyone than the gift of 

recognizing them as they really are.

= 16 =

You are doing extremely well.

The relationships that you seek

are flowing to you.

Relax and enjoy the unfolding…

Feel appreciation for what-is,

and eagerness for what is coming…

There is great love here for you.

And, as always, we remain,

in the Vortex.

You have come forth into this physical time-space reality

with billions of other humans, understanding the immense

value that you offer to each other and to All-That-Is. The splendor

and richness of the relationships that you will find with others

with whom you share this planet hinges completely on the

relationship that you deliberately foster between the physical

you and your Non-physical counterpart, your Inner Being.

Your Inner Being demonstrates a never-ending willingness to continue

seeing only your value and goodness, holding that Vibration as a

place-marker for you whenever you are ready to align with it. Seeing 

you there even when you do not see it.

We take enormous pleasure in offering these Law-based,

Universal concepts to you in a logical presentation because we

know the pleasure you will find when you discover your pure

resonance with them.

We also take enormous pleasure in understanding that there is 

nothing in all of the Universe more natural than for you to feel good, 

and that none of the words that we have offered here in this book 

are necessary in order for you to bring that about.

If the only decision that we have inspired (as a result of the written 

and recorded message that we have offered here) is that you sit each day, 

for 15 minutes only, while breathing to the rhythm of the music—focusing 

softly, with the intention of blending your breaths, one by one, with 

the tempo of the music in the background—that will be enough. 

Enough for you to release all resistance, all discomfort, all illness, 

all loneliness, all unwantedness... as you feel that being replaced, 

breath by breath, with the clarity, vitality, ease, flow and love of your

Source within you.

There is great love here for you!

Abraham

Please Note: Books and meditations CDs are available at your local bookstore, or may be ordered by visiting: www.abraham-hicks.com