Confessions of a Brokenhearted Liberal

I went from intense excitement to growing anguish very quickly that night. The big moment had arrived and suddenly the world was falling apart!

It’s been a jarring time for many of us following the shocking results of the 2016 presidential elections. Shortly after 7:00 PM, as the polls began to close throughout the Eastern states, and the electoral colleges allocated to the candidates, I was already in panic mode.  I texted my daughter who was in the same mood and then decided to quiet my nerves by watching an entertainment segment I had saved on my DVR.  Once in a while I would glance back at the live TV broadcast and promptly return to my pre-recorded show more distressed than ever.  At the end of the show, I tuned back to the election results admonishing myself to quiet down and face reality but could not stand it. I was a total wreck and by 10:30 PM, I decided to turn it all off, TV set, iPhone and iPad.  By then Ohio was allocated to Trump and Florida was still too close to call but with an edge for Trump.

At 11:00 PM, I was in bed, desperately trying to calm myself. I prayed and yielded to my frayed emotions.  I fell asleep for 30-40 minutes only to awaken again and experience painful butterflies in my guts. I resorted to the many letting go techniques that had helped me on so many occasions, but incredibly, nothing seemed to work. I was puzzled by the intensity and resistance of my reaction. I was hoping against all hopes that there was still a chance and that the unthinkable was not real. On a couple of occasions, I struggled with the desire to turn the TV or internet back on to check the results but remained lying in bed in the darkness vacillating between fear and denial.

It was not until 7:00 AM the following day, that I finally knew with certainty that the nightmarish scenario had come true. On my iPhone, there was a text message from my daughter with a single word “Mommy!!!” and a crying Emoji next to it.  That morning, after my persistent emotional surrender throughout the night and my acceptance of what was, I felt calmer and able to go on with my day as usual.  That is until a press alert in my inbox signaled that Hillary was going to give her concession speech, and I turned my TV on.  As I watched her speak words of acceptance and grace while containing her sadness and regret, I fell apart and couldn’t hold back my tears anymore.  I cried for her, her hard and courageous work, and the death of our common dream. I shed a river of tears for all those whose hopes were dashed. I wept with profound sorrow for me, for my daughter, my mother, my sister and all those women who had hoped with all their might that we were finally going to make history. 

Inside me, an unfathomable sorrow was mounting, an immense dread of the unknown facing immigrants and Muslims, minorities and disabled, and all those that Trump had humiliated and insulted for 16 months straight.  Had he not unleashed the most hateful instincts in so many of his supporters who felt their prejudice sanctioned by this powerful rich man, now president-elect, who could shout it all out loud without any human decency, shame or fear?  The spewing of the most venomous kind was thrown in our faces day in and day out and now we had to live in a nation whose leader was the mouthpiece for that ugliness.  How could it be?

The Personal Perception

I am known to have celebrated the new energy of love and hope in America. After all had this country not voted for a black man twice?  But I had underestimated the misogyny and the potency of the lies that were spread initially by Republicans with a visceral hatred of the Clintons and later perpetrated by Bernie Sanders’s most vitriolic supporters.  Outrageous conspiracy theories abound everywhere. Fake news and fabricated lies were circulated on the internet ad nauseum.  The truth was a subjective construct at best.

Like many bleeding-heart liberals, I was stunned by this most shocking turn of events.  Throughout the ugliness of the election campaign, I kept seeing signs of the Universe orchestrating a shift I believed had been in the making since the election of the first African-American president.  The fast pace of positive social change in America and elsewhere was a sure sign that we were on the right path.  With the prospect of a female president of the most powerful nation in the world, I became intoxicated with my own dreams of justice and aspirations for a new, kinder Earth.  Election night inflicted the cruelest of awakening. 

I forgot that no evolution or progress happens all at once or in a straight longitudinal manner.  More often than not, the change that occurs is met with not only resistance but also set backs of various magnitudes. Our collective consciousness is so set on building a world with universal love and compassion that I came to believe that this time the change was not only accelerating but also inevitable. I found myself repeating to everyone who would listen that the rational modern man’s mind had inflicted too much pain on the world and it was high time for feminine energy to take over.  It was what was needed to heal humanity and the planet.  I cited the increasing caring for Mother Earth and the environment, for animals and their suffering, for sexual diversity and racial equality, for the disabled, the refugees and downtrodden of the world.  This was LOVE in action; this was human awakening as we had anticipated. 

Where I saw hate and violence, I explained away by rationalizing that we needed to uncover the Evil to bring about the Good. I insisted that we could not defeat darkness unless we shed the light on that which was long kept in the shadows.  I was not blind to the suffering, the fear, the anger and the hate that was raging in the hearts of so many. I did see it all, I thought.  Only I chose to keep my focus on the positive signs around me that showed me we were still on the righteous path. I persuaded myself that the only long lasting way to defeat the darkness was to stick with love and compassion and continue to embrace the power of alignment with Source. There were times when, I even felt like the lonesome lighthouse on the rocky cliff, battered by the furious sea still standing in the storm.

I knew I was not alone. I live in a community of light workers; I am surrounded by men and women who believe in their core that we are living in a time of extraordinary transition and empowerment.  And yet for a while now throughout the lengthy electoral process, I engaged in an exercise of complete dis-empowerment by investing myself too deeply in it; even believing that the change I was craving was coming from outside of me. The first woman president was going to embody it and we were all going to be saved somehow.  I was not prepared for the shattering loss because of that dis-empowerment. I cried and mourned as if the collective loss was an intensely personal one.  And it was because I had given away my power to external events.  My reaction was that much more surprising that I had been preaching for some time that it is not what others did or what events happen that mattered but how we react to that.  Reactivity is the most human of traits and it is an insidious enemy.  It robs us of our peace and joy by laying blame on others. And oh did we have a chest full of blame to hurl out. 

The Illusion of Separation

What I failed to see, what we liberals were blind to, was that the other side had felt exactly the same way. Half of the nation had voted for Trump even as the other half grieved in disbelief.  Many on the other side of the American political divide, many of whom it turns out had voted for Obama twice, had felt profound and mounting despair over the course of eight years of impotent government.  Many of those who had seen salvation in the charismatic Black leader who ignited hope in them and subsequently turned to the revolutionary rhetoric of Bernie Sanders, had seen their hopes of advancement evaporate with the Clinton nomination.  They contributed to the Trump victory either by not voting at all or voting for him or a third party candidate. Those groups were all motivated by one thing and one thing only, Hillary represented the status quo and they were desperate for change, any change.  And if there ever was any doubt of things staying the course, one had to only witness the unprecedented support by the seating president and first lady bent on protecting the Obama legacy. Knowing all along, that a Senate majority was a must if that was to happen. If not, Hillary’s election would lead to yet another stalemate.

Of course, Trump voters and supporters too had fully dis-empowered themselves by embracing a man who stood for radical change. The power of their belief was so strong, that they were willing to turn a blind eye to all his horrifying shortcomings and only see the relief he promised.  We know now that the hordes who voted for Trump were not all “uneducated white men” - as we disparagingly view them amongst liberals. The divide included almost half of all white women – a fact that added insult to injury to many women, including me. 

Regardless of where we stand now, we must realize how each and every one of us contributed to this ghastly breakdown of our social fabric and how our government only reflects our divisions.  The advance of social media has made us more entrenched in our beliefs and created deeper chasm that ever before in our history.  We stopped talking to each other and only talk to ourselves, reinforcing and strengthening our own perspectives, demonizing each other in a blatant lack of general empathy.  We think of each other as stupid and blind to the truth.  We are able to look at the same things and only see what we believe and nothing else. We’re ceaselessly pointing the finger at each other.  

For even though, I did see the rage and fear on the other side, I did not accept it and even worse, I dismissed it, refusing to discuss it, respect it or honor it.  Instead, I belittled it and often called it aberrant.  Hoping to defeat an uncomfortable reality, I shut it down viewing it as dangerous and misguided.  I was easily offended by the hateful rants instead of seeing the all too human frailty, the fear and anxiety underneath.  Instead of reaching out and opening my heart and genuinely aiming for peace, I went to war by unfriending and blocking the negativity.  Now I can see that what I did with others I had done with my own negative feelings on a personal level.  I repressed and denied them, until they reemerged in the form of disease and lingering pain both physically and emotionally.  In other words, I repeated the same old pattern of suppression and projection on the social plane with other groups of people.  It is rather remarkable this state of affair!

Trump may have won a decisive Electoral College and Congressional win, since his party also holds a Senate and House majority, but we as a nation LOSE if we continue on the path of separation and anger.  We fail our nation when we fail ourselves and each other.  

We must now take responsibility for our dis-empowerment and divide and accept the blame where it truly lies: within.  At least those of us with the courage to look inside and be conscious and aware must now turn our focus on what we know to be the Truth: we create our world.  By keeping a steady focus on our fears and projecting our negative emotions on the other side, we have attracted and manifested this new reality. The only way out is to return to love and compassion and open our hearts and our minds to the other side and the best future for our country. Embrace everyone, including those on the other side of our beliefs, and listen to them with love and respect, and by being everything we wish them to be.  We are mirrors.  

In the end, my fellow broken-hearted liberals, nothing has changed, only our perspective must.  We are still beacons of light in a world marred in much darkness. We may not have realized the dream of a female president, and the side of anger and fear has had its way this time around by electing a man who represents their raging discontent, but that is of no consequence; a small detour at best in the path of love.  We have fallen prey to our own demons.

What are we to do now?  Stay the course and take full responsibility for contributing to our separation and dis-empowerment, knowing that our human mind is not equipped to see the larger picture. Only our Higher Self can do that.  We are being tested in our resolve to keep walking the path of love and compassion no matter what the external circumstances are.  We must tend to our personal healing and extend our love to those we perceive as being misguided.  There are several paths to the truth and we cannot judge others as less than us no matter what they do or say.  For remember, they too are us.        

Why I Am So Passionate About This Election

I'm an emigrant woman of Arab and Muslim background and I've been a naturalized American citizen for thirty years. I was born in Morocco in a proud, beautiful Muslim family. My mother was married against her will at 13 to my father who was 20 years her senior. This was neither cruel nor unusual in those days. She was barely literate (and none of her three sisters could read or write) but she made sure that her four children - of whom I am the oldest - had an education. My parents divorced when I was 14 but my father also had the highest aspiration for me and predicted that I would earn a PhD when I was just 7 years old and starting school.

In America, I went on to earn a BA with High Honors at the University of Florida in Gainesville FL and a Masters degree and almost a PhD from New York University. I never missed an election and when my mother, with my sponsorship, became a US citizen, she felt she was in Heaven living in the greatest country on earth. She cried when she could finally vote for Bill Clinton in 1992. 

I've always been a liberal Democrat and a passionate feminist. The year she turned 18, my daughter and I voted for Hillary in the 2007 primaries before voting for Obama in 2008. I already felt then she was the more qualified candidate, and though it was not meant to be, I was proud of our first Black President. Then as now, America made history and I was proud of our vote. Sadly, my mother passed away in 2004, too soon to see that happen. In her memory, once again my daughter and I are voting on Tuesday for Hillary, for my mother and my aunts, and all the magnificent women who have never had a chance to witness history being made once again in this great nation. 

I have been frantically active this election on Facebook and Twitter. I volunteered and phone-banked and I am convinced Hillary is going to win in a landslide this time against an undeserving, narcissistic and incompetent bigot in an election that shed the spotlight on the deep seeded racism and misogyny still pervasive in our country.  Finally, I've turned 60 this summer and Hilary's election for POTUS will be undoubtedly one of the best gifts of my life so far. 

Maman, this one is for you!

My mother and I, two weeks before her death in 2004

Seeing is Believing? Not so!

I appreciate that in a democracy we have different parties with different ideologies. What I do not understand is how one Party can so blatantly deny the facts when they are easily verifiable and obvious for everyone to see and that there are people who believe such misrepresentations solely on ideological grounds. This curious phenomenon stands in opposition to the saying that "seeing is believing". In fact, the contrary is true, believing is seeing; corroborating the notion that we are only able to see what we already believe! Hence, I stopped arguing with people who have set and distinct opinions from mine. It is a complete waste of energy. At the same time, this has made me more alert to my own beliefs and the necessity for me to not judge too fast or be stubborn in my opinions. A healthy open-mindedness is necessary for constructive discourse.

This realization is illustrated by an article by my friend Diane Vacca who writes: "What the [Republicans] refuse to acknowledge is that since Obama took office, the budget deficit has declined by roughly $1 trillion, and we are in the longest period of sustained job growth in our history. Unemployment, which reached 10 percent in Obama’s first term, is now 5 percent, lower than when the sainted Reagan left office. Under Obama, the economy has recovered from the Great Recession, which he inherited from his predecessor, George W. Bush, significantly faster and better than any of the other major world economies."

Vacca goes on to say, "Gene Sperling, the former director of the National Economic Council, told the NY Times, “If we were back in early 2009 … with the economy losing 800,000 jobs a month and the Dow under 7,000 — and someone said that by [Obama’s] last year in office, unemployment would be 5 percent, the deficit would be under 3 percent, AIG would have turned a profit and we made all our money back on the banks, that would’ve been beyond anybody’s wildest expectations.” But most people don’t know that because the Republicans have constantly been hammering the lie that the economy is in shambles."

I would add the incredible turn around of the US automobile industry and the drop to 10% from 18% of the US population which is still without healthcare to the list of accomplishments; and this despite the hysterical opposition of the GOP to Obamacare and other Obama policies. Had the US Congress been more cooperative, the economic recovery of the last 7 years would have been even more impressive.

Source: https://dianevacca.wordpress.com/2016/04/28/donald-trumps-presidential-debut/

There is Great Power in Surrender

There is Great Power in Surrender

In our high achieving society, hard work and strife are often viewed as the means to succeeding greatly.  The concept of surrender and letting go is devalued and misunderstood as a lack or loss of control.

It is of course the opposite.  We struggle in life when we do not know who we are. The masquerade of our ego leads one to believe that since life is a jungle, we must learn to fight and compete to overcome adversity and achieve our goals.  This belief will break us down and lead us to self-destruct eventually.

It takes knowledge and acceptance of our total self to surrender and let go. True achievement comes when we forsake our forceful drive and egotistical pursuits and harness the awesome power of Universal energy and its infinite intelligence. 

Going with the flow of the river of life will take us faster to our destination than forcing our way upstream, regardless of how many detours.  And when we get there, we feel refreshed and empowered instead of stressed, broken and empty. So lose the oars, listen to your inner guidance and trust your heart. 

Wafa Faith Hallam

Happy Earth Day 2016

Remember to make Earth Day every day!

LETTING GO: The Process of Surrender and Release

- An Easy Technique for a Healthier and Happier Life -

How does it make you feel to see a toddler throwing a tantrum and screaming “I hate you” as her mom looks on mortified? Or when your teenager, your parent or your spouse argues with you and blurts out words that feel like daggers in your chest? We've all been in similar situations. When we’re afraid or hurt, we react forcefully, and often try to hurt back. ~ Why?

From the time we were born, everything we’ve been taught about our negative feelings is that they should be kept under wrap, pushed away or ignored. That constant reminder slowly turned us into walking pressure cookers. We live in a society where negative emotions are viewed as impediments to good relationships and successful careers, forgetting that they are instead valuable indicators that are there to alert us that we are straying away from our source.

The truth is that the process of surrendering to, making peace with, and letting go of our negative feelings allows us to transform our negative feelings into love and freedom, which in turn make us mentally happier and physically healthier. Furthermore, the surrender and release of the darkness inside us takes us back to the light of higher consciousness and the happy beings we are meant to be.

Ultimately, the surrendering reconnects us with our true selves making us instruments of peace and reconciliation instead of forces of discord and separation. In my personal life, the letting go process has transformed my most important relationships—especially my relationship with my daughter, which was often violently argumentative—and made me a far happier person on all fronts. 

UNDERSTANDING  EMOTIONAL PAIN AND ITS EFFECTS

      A)  We are Huge Reservoirs of Accumulated Negative Emotions. 

On the conscious and subconscious levels, we have continuously resorted to various mechanisms to fill up with negativity again and again and we do this in 4 ways:

1. Suppression and Repression: deliberately by suppressing, unconsciously by repressing; in both cases by refusing to deal with negative emotions and thinking or talking about something else.

2. Escape: resorting to activities to mask the pain with excessive drinking, socializing, television viewing, working, exercising, and other seemingly acceptable behaviors.

3. Expression: complaining, demonstrating, and venting, only go so far in releasing the pain. The endless processes of psychotherapy that can go on for years are a good example of often futile expression with limited long term resolution.

4. Denial and Projection: pretending that the feeling does not exist at all or does not belong to us.  However, un-acknowledged and un-recognized negative feelings never just disappear, we project them onto others. They morph and become that which we often hate and despise in other people.

 B) Negative feelings Generate Obsessive Thinking.

Those negative feelings accumulate and fester inside until our containers are so full that they leach into our thoughts and haunt us. Soon the mind turns into a loud chatterbox filled with endless, gloomy, and contradictory thoughts leading to increased stress, and often resulting in serious physical and mental illness.

      C)  Negativity Increases Reactivity.

Our Monkey Mind, fed by our reservoir of negativity, has now created an entity that lives inside us lurking for opportunities to feed itself and grow bigger. Carl Jung speaks of the “Shadow Self,” while Eckhart Tolle calls it the “Pain Body.” This growing entity makes us walking time-bombs. Suddenly, a situation, an event, or a remark will trigger fear, anxiety or anger. We experience the familiar fight or flight response. That entity makes us believe the enemy is the other. Jean-Paul Sartre famously said “Hell is other people,” in his play No Exit; only it is not. The enemy is within.

Isn’t it time to stop the blame game and the finger pointing that we now are witness to so clearly in our society and look at the truth in the face? The truth is everything that is causing us pain and preventing us from being our happy selves is within us. We are victims and prisoners, yes; but not of anything outside of us. Our own negative feelings are to blame, they’re our shackles. Our reactivity is the cause of the conflict inside us, which we continuously project onto others. Nobody pushes our buttons, our reactions are triggered from within as we witness and partake in outside events.

HOW DO YOU FREE YOURSELF?

Whenever you feel a negative emotion, stop and take notice. Do not run away from it. Sit with the feeling and let it be there. Accept it and do not turn it into your enemy. Identify it if you can: Feel the anxiety, anger, sadness, guilt, shame, whatever it is. Allow it in your stomach, heart, and guts.

You will feel raw and exposed, but don’t give up, instead surrender and accept the discomfort and let it run its course. It only takes a few minutes and it’s well worth it.

Within a couple of minutes, take a deep breath and ask yourself: Can I let go of this ___ (fill in the blank)? Am I ready to let it go now? Answer YES, and mean it.

Visualize your emotional pain oozing through your system and seeping out of your every pore. Say to yourself: I am now letting go of this pain of ___ right here, right now. Breathe deeply. Pause.

Then, repeat the process by asking yourself:  Do I still feel the ___?

After 2 to 3 rounds, you will feel a lighter energy in you. The negative feeling will lessen considerably even dissolve and disappear.  The whole thing takes about 10 minutes.

You will be able to go on with your day and return to whatever you were doing as if nothing had happened. The trigger is now gone and you won’t be reacting to that situation anymore.

HOW QUICKLY CAN YOU EXPECT RESULTS?

You will feel the difference often very quickly, and even if you use the technique poorly.  Although, sometimes, the pain and negativity are so deep into the subconscious that it will require multiple releasing and a few adjustments before the negativity subsides substantially and is fully released.

In all cases, Practice, Patience and Persistence will yield miraculous results in just a few weeks, if not days. Also do not judge your progress harshly, be kind, and let go of resistance.

THE TECHNIQUE OF SURRENDER AND RELEASE WORKS MIRACLES.

We all wish to be free of anger, guilt, shame, fear, and anxiety. Now you know how.

You can break bad habits, succeed in your career, improve your relationships, enjoy good health, and contribute to the creation of a harmonious and peaceful world.

All of that is eminently possible when you master the art of Letting Go. The technique is easy enough. You just have to want to change and be free of all the negativity that’s holding you back. When you do, you will feel lighter and happier and you will be more creative, more productive and more resilient.

A final word: Don't take my word for it.  Try it for yourself and see what happens!

Note:  I posted a longer article on the same topic on November 18, 2015 titled "Your Negative Feelings are to Blame (or The Secret of Lasting Happiness)."

Sources: 

-          Dr. David R. Hawkins, M.D. Ph.D. "Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender." Hay House, Inc.;      2nd ed. edition (January 15, 2014)

-          Hale Dwoskin, "The Sedona Method." Sedona Press; First Printing. edition (February 25, 2015)

Letting Go, an Easy Technique for a Happier Healthier Life - Video

Based on the book "Letting Go, The Pathway of Surrender" 

by Dr David Hawkins M.D. PhD. 

I am passionate about sharing all the tools in my "Happiness Toolbox."  Life is too short not to learn to be happy regardless of the circumstances, events or people in our lives.  This is my first installment.  You can tell I am still very nervous but I know I'll get better at it with time. So please leave me your feedback and comments.  Thanks, everyone. ;)

Identity and Belonging

IDENTITY AND BELONGING

It’s Friday the 13^th, November 2015, around 6 PM, I’m on my way to dinner at friends in East Hampton when the phone rings. I stopped my car in their driveway and answered the call.  It’s my sister from overseas. She’s crying. Something terrible happened, Paris is under a state of emergency, and France’s frontiers are closed. People are killed, it’s a massacre. My heart drops and my first question was: Islamists? Unfortunately yes, she said. 

Immediately, my thoughts go to the victims and just as quickly to the perpetrators, a group of murderous psychopaths who call themselves Muslims, and in so doing they just smeared the very identity of a huge population of some 1.7 Billion people, who follow Islam, the world’s largest and fastest growing religion. And I am one of them!

Why am I telling you this?  Because, I am often faced with calls to speak up in defense of Islam. Moderate Muslims, we are told, should make their voices heard in their condemnation of Islamic terrorism; as if their silence was an abdication of their identity. In that regard, I admit I felt some guilt myself for a long time.

Identity, however, is a complex construct that is often difficult to tease apart. Identity is also the source of much pride and prejudice for many, who live to guard theirs at all cost, and in so doing, create separation and exclusion. I have come to believe that to heal the world; we must connect with our humanity and experience our Oneness.  That is not to say, that we cannot treasure our individuality or that we need to shed the mantle of identity altogether. But I am saying we cannot value one without the other.  

After all, why should it matter what our backgrounds and origins are?  Matters of birth, race, and religion are merely accidents of geography and artificial boundaries, nothing more.  With human migration steadily rising, national identity is increasingly muddled, which flies in the face of those who still want to return to race and creed purity.

For many years, I was unsure which box, or boxes, I belonged to because I am a blend of diverse elements. This explains that my identity was often a source of confusion that I experienced as a matter of either pride or shame depending on the place and the circumstances. It could be something I openly admitted to, ignored or artfully danced around. 

I was born in Morocco, of Muslim parents, a mix of both Berber and Arab descent.  Morocco itself is struggling with its identity as it is part of Africa, North Africa, the Middle East, the Arab and the Islamic Worlds.  For many decades, Morocco was occupied by Western powers: Portugal, Spain and most recently France.  Its official language is Arabic but French is everywhere, and for all intents and purposes, its second official language. There are also different Berber dialects spoken in the rural areas.

I was educated in French schools exclusively and raised like a French girl who happened to live in a majority Muslim country. Hence, growing up, my identity was not only a source of puzzlement, it was also and mostly a burden for a young westernized woman yearning to be free and not be caged because of her gender.

Coming to America offered me the promise and opportunity to free myself from the shackles of mingled labels and limiting beliefs. I wanted to be part of the American fabric, melt in its magnificent melting pot and integrate the larger identity.  And all was good and well until 9/11… followed months later by the war in Iraq. Two events that felt like I was slapped in the face again with the same questions of identity and belonging I thought I’d left behind. 

Like a fish pulled out of the water and gasping with each breath, I felt ashamed of an identity I was sure I had shed two decades before. I became concerned about how Muslims were being perceived and troubled by the growth of Islamophobia.  I believed I couldn’t stay silent and had to speak up against the atrocities committed by Islamic extremists and the horrors they perpetrated in the name of Islam.

And so there I was, hardly a Muslim or an Arab, except for the fact that I was stamped with such labels at birth. I didn’t practice the religion and I didn’t speak the language with proficiency and I lived two thirds of my life in the US and was thence thoroughly Americanized. Still, with all its many imperfections, I did love the culture I was born in, I did value my heritage, and I did connect with its beauty, richness and vibrancy.  And so I did want to make my voice heard. I wanted to put a different face on what my fellow Americans perceived Muslims to be.

However, as I was reflecting on how best to do that, I was struck with the realization that I did not have to defend Islam. Islam does not need defending; it needs to step out of the medieval times it’s been stuck in, certainly. Otherwise, like every religious doctrine, it preaches Love, Peace, and Tolerance at its core.  Admittedly, it is also tainted with contradictions, and in some instances even advocates violence, bigotry and prejudice depending on which verse or article one happens to quote or misquote. 

I also recognized that all religious texts, without exception, share the same contradictions. Their imagery, symbolism and messages could easily be used to validate any principle and justify any action.  After all are they not all based on orally transmitted myths and beliefs? Were they not all corrupted because written centuries after their revelation by men for men for the purpose of building and consolidating power? Have they not all led to killings and massacres of some kind or another throughout human history?

So why should I want to speak up on account of my identity when the only identity that matters to me now is that I am unquestionably a member of the Human Race? And why should I defend my religion when I only believe in Love, as the only True Creed; Acceptance, as the only True Faith; and Non-Judgment, as the only True Divine Law? As much as I understand the need and beauty of preserving and celebrating our belonging to a treasured culture, a religion, or a race, I truly believe there is a belonging that's bigger and more expansive that we must never forget or overlook our humanity.

In the end, I do appreciate and recognize that diversity of cultures and identities provide the essential colors, favors and textures to any society that a homogeneous entity cannot, but they are to be celebrated as an indispensable piece of the bigger all-inclusive patchwork.  And so no group should ever be made to feel guilty for the crimes of some of its members.  Because when identity is taken as a narrow concept, it divides and isolates.  Its defense invites judgment, while comparisons lead to perceptions of good and bad, right and wrong, and I have no desire to indulge in any of that, knowing that fear, anger and retribution create more of the same.

Only the experience of our wholeness can unite and save us as a species.  Hence, I choose to preach and to speak the language of Consciousness and Non-Identity instead, or rather identity as part of a whole. 

As the world most famous Muslim poet Rumi once wrote:

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Easter means AWAKENING to me

Easter means AWAKENING to me

By Wafa Faith Hallam

March 27, 2016

As Easter approached I kept thinking of what it really meant.  I kept thinking that what Jesus really wanted his flocks to retain from it was quite different from what the religious doctrine named after him, which was stuck in ancient thinking, continued to preach.

Easter, the most important and oldest festival of the Christian Church, celebrates the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  But what is Resurrection, if not Rebirth?  What is it for us today if not AWAKENING to our Higher Self, our Pure Consciousness?

On television in the last few days, the constant depiction of Jesus’ suffering and the fixation on his crucifixion and sacrifice are the fundamental message:  Jesus accepted his horrific death because he wanted to show men the extent of God’s love.  His suffering was not only to establish a new Covenant between God and his people, but to absolve the whole of humanity and not just a select few from their sin. And their sin was their belief that they were separate from God and not one with him. That the bloodied Cross became the symbol of the faith is telling.  And yet, Jesus never once spoke of himself as being the Crucifixion.

His words were “I am the Resurrection and the Life.”

Even though I am not a Christian, and not a scholar of the Holy Scriptures, I see Jesus as one of the greatest embodiments of God’s Love on Earth and the symbol of our awakening to our eternal and divine nature. His message was universal and unifying and never exclusive.  I believe that human evolution and its conscious expansion will inevitably lead us to that state.  Beyond the religious dogma, many of us Spiritual But Not Religious seekers (SBNR) wish to establish that true faith and the belief that pure consciousness is nothing but pure love. 

And Pure Love will save humanity from 

its long state of suffering.

I have great hope in the future of the Catholic Church in the hands of Pope Francis, an outstanding humanist, who on Holy Thursday performed the traditional ritual of washing and kissing the feet of twelve Catholic Men, who chose instead twelve Muslim, Hindu, and Christian refugees, eight men and four women.  In his words: “We are brothers, children of the same God, who want to live in Peace, integrated.”

 Amen and Happy Easter to all!

Copyright © 2016 by Wafa Faith Hallam

Consciousness…What is it?

Con·scious·ness…What is it?

By Wafa Faith Hallam

March 25, 2016

For the better part of my life, consciousness was a little more than awareness of the physical world around me.  I viewed the material as the only reliable “reality.” Until I crashed and burned and “reality” did not make any sense! My rational mind was of little help in finding answers and I turned to the “Now” as revealed by Eckhart Tolle.

But, what is Consciousness, and how and where does it come from?  This is the most fundamental question and greatest mystery of all. Until very recently, there were two opposing views that attempted to solve that mystery: Science, through reason and rationalization sees the brain as the creator of consciousness while Spirituality claims that the source of consciousness is non-material.  As this second hypothesis begins to gain credence in some scientific fringes, perhaps the time has come for Science and Spirituality to come together.  As we all must awaken to the wholeness of our existence and recognize the truth of our sublime nature, that we are more than bodies with brains.

The overwhelming consensus in conventional science today is that the brain -- with its 100 Billion neurons and other cells-- creates Consciousness. In other words, when all brain functions cease so does consciousness. Besides its rigid materialism and reductionism, this modern scientific belief has had very detrimental effects on our society. Because of its narrow focus on the brain as the Creator of our entire existence, our society has been breeding fragmented individuals obsessed with the material world. And most grievously, has resulted in the devastation of our natural environment and the dismissal of nature’s healing powers and teachings. It has also led to alienation and despair in a growing number of people.

Today a new perspective is slowly emerging among a handful of scientists called Post-Materialist Science. Post-Materialism stipulates that conventional science fails to prove that mind and emotions are caused by the brain and that the 3 common procedures relied upon to prove its hypothesis — Correlation, Stimulation and Ablation —  are also used to determine how a TV set works. But we know a TV set is only an antenna and cannot create content.  That in effect is what the brain is; it is a receiver, an antenna, not a creator of Consciousness.

Nikola Tesla (1856-1943) famously put it this way: "My brain is only a Receiver. In the Universe, there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength, and inspiration. I have not penetrated into the secrets of this core, but I know that it exists."

Most of us instinctively know this to be true. Therefore, until scientists agree to expand the field of their research accordingly, allow me to offer a Spiritual perspective — devoid of religious dogma — which deeply resonates with me.

‘Who We Are’— the “I AM”— consist of 3 parts: 1 part matter (The Brain) + 2 parts non-matter (The Mind and Consciousness): Together, the Receiver, Perceiver and Conceiver makeup our human Beingness.

1- The physical brain is only a Receiver:  It receives an energetic vibration or frequency which fires through its neurons. The kind of information it receives depends on the frequency it is tuned to. That information is then picked up by the Mind. 

2- The second part of ‘Who We Are’, the Mind, is the Perceiver.  It is also known as the “personality” mind or “rational” mind. Because it interprets the meaning of the impulse and information received by the brain. The Mind’s perception is of course invaluable, but it is based on past experience, conditioning, beliefs and value systems.  That is why the mind is not of much help when we are faced with the unknown and trying to make sense of the world.

Everything the mind knows is past experience.  It does not know HOW things are going to happen only what has happened.  Its field of vision is so limited, it panics when events get out of its control and resorts to thinking. It can turn into a blabber box creating enormous stress and fear.  And most unfortunately, it has made us believe that we are alone and only have IT to help us navigate the challenges of our lives.

3-  The third component, of ‘Who We Are’, is Higher Consciousness. This is the Conceiver, the most important aspect of who we are, the “core” that Tesla refers to. It is known by many names: the “Intuitive” mind, the Higher Self, the Soul, Spirit, etc.  It is Pure Consciousness, Pure Potentiality. It is the field of all possibilities. It is the infinitely creative part of us because it conceives the idea. It taps into a Universal Core Consciousness or energetic field that knows all THAT IS, the sum total of all experiences and knowledge. 

The Higher Self is the part of US that is the most mysterious and most ignored.  It has all the answers and knows exactly when to deliver them to our brain. And while the personality rational Mind is in the valley, IT is on the mountain top and sees the whole picture.

We have forgotten the existence of our Higher Consciousness and in so doing have estranged ourselves from its guidance and wisdom.  

As Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, wrote: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."

HOW DO WE ACCESS the ‘gift’ of our Pure Consciousness, our HIGHER SELF?

·        *We must limit our excessive reliance on our intellect and rational Mind by quieting the chatter box. Stop the incessant thoughts and access the Now. That is our only point of attraction and connection.

·        * We must acknowledge our hearts and get in touch with our Divine Feminine, our feelings and emotions.  Particularly the negative ones, which are caused by our limiting beliefs and old value systems.  As we allow them to be felt, they dissipate and the thoughts they generate also disappear. 

·         * Stillness speaks though not in words.  Its language is INTUITION and INSPIRATION.  In stillness, we are more adept at perceiving the messages and guidance of our Higher Self.  At first, it feels like the flutter of a butterfly’s wings, a slight intuition, an ever so subtle knowing that comes in the form of a sudden inspiration and pops up in our mind seemingly from nowhere. Though it can also be a very persistent knowing, an idea that won’t go away, a dream that keeps haunting us, or a deep desire that makes our heart sing for no reason. 

In the final analysis, as so many of us follow road-maps drawn by others and try to live up to our and others’ expectations, it may be comforting to learn of alternative existential paradigms.  I believe it is high time to accept our exquisite individuality and get out of the box of conformity.  If not, our innate sense of exploration, creativity and wonder may be lost forever leading to our growing alienation.

Let us remember that we are not simply a brain with a rational mind!  We are also Pure Consciousness and we must reclaim the Truth and Wholeness of our existence by acknowledging that precious third part of our Beingness that makes us fully human, our Higher Self.  

In doing so, we reclaim our power and our belonging to the whole universe, which is so very critical to the survival of our species and our planet.

Our Higher Self is PURE LOVE. It is the part of us that is God-Like. To be reminded will change our world. 

Copyright © 2016 by Wafa Faith Hallam

Peace, Love and Happiness are Means not Goals

Copyright © 2016 by Wafa Faith Hallam

The Pursuit of Happiness

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

By Wafa Faith Hallam

Published March 20, 2016

Do you know that unhappiness builds up over time and can become so toxic that it can kill you?  I should know, my mother passed away because of too much unhappiness. When she was about my age she began complaining of lack even though she had more than most.  Her unhappiness led to severe clinical depression and soon she was so sick her immune system completely collapsed. She was never diagnosed with any particular life-threatening disease. She was just always complaining and unhappy. My mother’s death is the reason why understanding happiness and being happy became paramount questions for me.

For most people, unhappiness begins with wanting what they do not have. And the reasons are unmet expectations, a flawed belief system, and a deep misunderstanding of what Happiness is.

What if I told you that the whole premise behind the cherished Jeffersonian concept of the “Pursuit of Happiness” is misleading to begin with; that the traditional formula is broken, that it is the other way around? Happiness is not a pursuit; it is not the result of chasing and achieving our goals but the pre-requisite for them. It is not because of our unmet expectations that we are unhappy.  It is because we are unhappy that we have unmet expectations.

The problem is each desire is only a goalpost; as such it only brings temporary pleasure, and pushes farther away true lasting happiness. Hence, Happiness becomes a mirage, an illusion! It doesn’t matter how hard we work and how much material success we achieve, that’s no guarantee we will be happy. Therefore happiness becomes more and more elusive and hard to pin down, doesn’t it? 

So if success, things and people cannot make us happy how can we ever hope for happiness? 

We need to understand what Happiness is:

Happiness is a STATE of MIND, and as such it cannot be found OUTSIDE the MIND.  So when we outsource our happiness, when we look to sources outside of ourselves, like people, things and careers we are bound to fail. Material things and other people cannot make us happy for long.

Happiness is a CHOICE. What we focus on, we strengthen!

In his bestselling book, The Happiness Advantage, Harvard researcher in the field of Positive Psychology Shawn Achor writes: “What we spend more time and mental energy focusing on can indeed become our reality.”  And because our beliefs affect our perceptions, what we choose to see will directly affect our state of mind.

Happiness must be cultivated within: We are born happy. It is our birthright. Circumstances and people cannot cause our unhappiness. It is not WHAT we are responding to but HOW we are responding to circumstances and people.

There are 7 ways to cultivate happiness:

1-    PRESENCE: Quieting the mind and being present.  Living one moment at a time, one day at a time. Our minds are often chatter boxes fixated on the past and the future and negating the only thing that’s real, this moment. Stillness or meditation is a great place to start. Begin by taking 2 or 3 deep breaths throughout the day.

2-    ACCEPTANCE: Which also means: Allowance and Surrender to what is! Everything in the world is based on duality, positive and negative, day and night, male and female, Yin and Yang and together they form wholeness. We must accept that love and hate, light and darkness, good and evil, cannot exist one without the other. Which do you choose to focus on? If the glass appears half full pick a smaller container.

                   

3-    GRATITUDE: Every day when you awake, be thankful and appreciative of your blessings and all that you have, the small things and the large ones: Your life, health, family, your home, a warm shower.

4-    KINDNESS: Random acts of kindness towards strangers and loved ones are proven to help our state of mind. But also volunteering and giving back.

5-    LANGUAGE: Words have power, use positive language. Mind your words when you speak of yourself or others. Do not complain. Complaining makes things worse.

6-    NATURE: Exercise and spend more time in Nature. Nature helps us reconnect with our source.  Exercise flushes out toxins from the body and the mind and helps quiet the mind.

7-    SOCIAL NETWORKS and FUN TIME: Cherish your family and friends and spend more time with them and have Fun, Laugh, Smile whenever you can. Laughter is very healing. Avoid the news. Everything passes and nothing is that important in the end.

In conclusion, true lasting happiness can be had when we understand what it is.

REMEMBER that the formula is backward.

HAPPINESS MUST COME FIRST! -- Happiness is not the Goal but the Means.

Because when we are happy, we are more creative, more productive, more energetic, more resilient and healthier, and far more likely to be successful in all areas of life. 

And finally, Happiness is a State of Mind to be cultivated inside.

As John Milton wrote in his Paradise Lost, 350 years ago:

                 “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

Copyright © 2016 by Wafa Faith Hallam